Home: Is it a HAVEN? Part 2 – Hubs

Haven for your Hubs
I don’t know a single woman who doesn’t want to feel like a Queen in her home, but ladies… we can’t feel like a Queen if we don’t first make our husbands feel like a King! And you’ve heard it said that a man’s castle is his home. So, how do we make our man’s castle a HAVEN where he can feel honored, respected, desired, and taken care of? How can we make the home a place that he wants to hurry come back to?
Because like I’ve said before, home is a refuge. A sanctuary for our families. In fact, “Haven” is a word often used for ships coming in to a safe place from sailing on stormy seas. What perfect imagery! The world is a rough place full of challenges and storms and battles, especially for our husbands. Our warriors. Out there fighting to provide for us and care for their castles. So let’s make home a HAVEN. A place where they can come to refresh and recharge with people who love them.
I’ve come up with FIVE things you can do every day to help make your home a place that your husband wants to come home to. There are definitely more! But these are a good place to start.
home haven

5 Tips for Creating a Haven for Our Hubs

  1. Make Him Want to Come Running Home to You! – Make your man miserable before he leaves the house in the morning. Whatever that takes! Cop a feel, take a shower with him, get his motor running so he thinks about you all day long! He’s gonna think about you that way anyways, so you might as well use it to your advantage to let him know you want him, too!
  2. Stop, Drop & Roll – When he comes through that door, stop everything you’re doing and go greet him! Kiss him, get the kids and make them greet him as well. Make him feel appreciated and loved from all of you. Doing this is a good way to start show kids that Dad is important and teaches them to respect and honor their parents!
  3. Back Off! – Give him time to go into his “nothing box”. Decompress, unwind, breathe, recharge. They need time for this so that you can have his attention later. This might be out in the barn doing chores, or it might be reading the news, watching TV, playing a game. Resist the temptation to chat him up right now, no matter how bad you think you NEED it after a long day! He’ll be more attentive after he has time to decompress. After he has had time to do this, THEN you can talk to him. THEN you can ask him for help with the kids. Don’t be afraid to communicate your needs to your husband so you’re not feeling frustrated and he’s not always left guessing what you need.
  4. Drop “Always” and “Never” from your Vocabulary – These words are toxic in a marriage. They’re accusational, they’re encapsulating, and they’re NOT TRUE! Maybe it FEELS like he always does something or never does something. But it’s not true. Dropping these words from your vocabulary will make your home more of a haven, a place of safety and security for your husband where he is not going to constantly feel accused or put in a box.
  5. SMILE! – Don’t make your husband guess how you’re gonna be when he gets home. I’ve heard women say, “I wish my husband were as happy to see me as he is to see the dog!” But they know that the dog is always going to be happy to see him! We women are not so predictable. So make an effort to genuinely be happy to see him when he gets home, and save any struggles or negativity for a time that you guys can talk it through together. Pray or vent to a girlfriend BEFORE he gets home so when he comes in the door you’re not a raging lunatic.

What are some ways you make your home a Haven for your Hubs?

Now You’re Cookin’,
Chef Alli



Read Part 1

This post originally aired on Periscope ChefAlli@maketakebake in February 2016.
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Chef Alli

Chef Alli is a home-grown Kansas girl on a mission to strengthen families through enabling kitchen confidence, educating the family cook, and encouraging better food relationships. She believes with her whole heart that time spent with our loved ones and our overall quality of life is greatly enhanced by nutritious food made at home with simple, wholesome ingredients. She loves being able to connect and share this passion with others through her website, her social media presence, and her coveted speaking engagements.

Blog Comments

I cut out this quote a long time ago. I hope my husband feels like he has this to come home to. Thanks for the post. It’s a great topic!
The most important thing a man can know is that, as he approaches his own door, someone on the other side is listening for the sound of his footsteps. 
– Clark Gable

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