What's Your Love Language?

5 Love LanguagesThe book The 5 Love Languages was first written over 20 years ago by Gary Chapman – it’s STILL such a valuable resource, I bet it never goes out of print! I know it has revolutionized my marriage. I’ve learned so much more about myself and my husband because I’ve taken the time to learn what works for us the very best! Have you read it?

Words of Affirmation
Acts of Service
Receiving Gifts
Quality Time
Physical Touch

1. As wives, why should we want to know what our Love Language is?

Because when we, ourselves, define our LL in our own hearts and minds, this enables us to specifically express to our Hubsters what makes us feel love and valued!
And why is that important? So that we can TELL our spouses what we enjoy and they don’t have to GUESS.  This helps them be successful in our relationship and each party SCORES BIG.  (Remember?  If you’ve bought into that silly nonsense of thinking that “Well, if he REALLY loved me, he’d just KNOW….” kind of stuff, stop it and stop it QUICK.  How would he just KNOW?  Did he got to WIFE-Y school to learn that?  The only way Hubsters get to learn what pleases us is when we take the time to kindly and nicely TELL them.  And don’t be surprised if you have to tell them more than once – this is just simply how it works. 🙂

2. Why would we want to learn what our Hubster’s Love Language is specifically?

When we work to discover what that is, we can then make sure his love tank gets filled up. Its truly amazing in marriage what can happen when our love tanks are full – it’s so much easier to let all the petty little things fall away when we feel loved and valued.
And once we can define our spouse’s Love Language, we can keep from making the mistake of loving them in our OWN LL, something very easy to do because we assume that what makes each of us feel loved, will also work for our spouse – WRONG!!  For example, BDP’s Love Language is Quality Time spent just doing things together, shoulder-to-shoulder, not much talking taking place.  While, I, on the other hand, being a visual person, love Acts of Service, where I can SEE him doing things that help me – like keeping my car full of gas (I detest pumping gas!) and helping me out around the house all the time.  Knowing and recognizing what our spouse’s Love Language LOOKS LIKE to them, is something we can then easily do for them, once we know what it is.  I love having easy EVERYDAY ways of making the little things really count. 
P.S. Please keep in mind that no matter what your husband says his Love Language is,  R-E-S-P-E-C-T will always be his first need – nothing will ever mean more to him than this.  (Did you know he would rather go UNLOVED than to feel DISRESPECTED????)
So if you haven’t bought the book or at least done some reading into the five Love Languages, go do that right now! You can purchase a copy RIGHT HERE (affiliate links) or find a copy in your favorite bookstore. Get out there and fight for your marriage, ladies!

Now You’re Cookin’,
Chef Alli

This post originally aired on Periscope ChefAlli@maketakebake in January 2016.
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Chef Alli

Chef Alli is a home-grown Kansas girl on a mission to strengthen families through enabling kitchen confidence, educating the family cook, and encouraging better food relationships. She believes with her whole heart that time spent with our loved ones and our overall quality of life is greatly enhanced by nutritious food made at home with simple, wholesome ingredients. She loves being able to connect and share this passion with others through her website, her social media presence, and her coveted speaking engagements.

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